Trying to Conceive: Hope, Pressure, and the Quiet Strength of Waiting
When we decided we were ready to try for another baby, I imagined a few quiet months of anticipation and then a sweet little line on a test. I didn’t expect the rollercoaster of hope, disappointment, obsession, and vulnerability that would take over my life.
Today’s world doesn’t make trying to conceive (TTC) any easier. We have fertility tracking apps, ovulation strips, wearable tech, hormone tests at home—and while all of that is empowering, it can also turn the process into a full-time job. Add in TikToks about “what worked for me,” headlines about declining fertility rates, and the pressure to “not stress too much,” and it becomes a cocktail of anxiety and shame.
The truth is, many of us are trying to conceive while juggling work deadlines, toddler tantrums, relationship fatigue, and lingering pandemic-era mental health struggles. This is modern parenthood. And TTC today feels like a quiet club no one talks about loudly unless you’re already in it.
The Hidden Emotional Labor of TTC
The constant calculation – tracking, testing, timing
The emotional whiplash – hope one moment, grief the next
The pressure to stay calm – as if stress alone could break or make your chance
The social exhaustion – fielding questions like “When’s the next one?” when you’re quietly aching inside
Find Your Support Community.
Increased awareness around fertility health is leading to better tools and earlier intervention, which is amazing. But access still isn’t equal, and insurance coverage for fertility treatments remains patchy across the U.S. Many are turning to online communities for support—both a blessing and a double-edged sword when every scroll brings either success stories or heartbreak.
The conversation around fertility is expanding, but so is the pressure to manage it perfectly. And no one talks enough about how long the middle can feel—the months (or years) of trying and not knowing.
If You're in It Right Now, Here's What I Want You to Know
You’re allowed to feel both hopeful and frustrated – They can coexist.
You don’t need to earn rest or peace – TTC is exhausting. You’re doing enough.
You’re not behind – Even if it feels like everyone else is posting bump pics.
Your worth is not tied to your ability to conceive – Read that again.
Find your people – Whether it’s one close friend or an online support group like Parenthood Together, having someone to say “me too” can carry you farther than any tracker ever will.
Trying to conceive is one of the most tender things we can do. It requires so much faith, patience, and gentleness with ourselves. And if no one has told you lately: you’re doing an incredible job navigating it all. Really.