Raising Woke Kids

By: Olivia Briggs

In this ever-evolving, intense political culture, staying woke is not only imperative for us, it’s essential when it comes to raising our children. If the last four years has taught us anything, it’s that racism is alive and thriving in the U.S. and around the world. Being the change you want to see is a gift to the future, and as a parent, that gift and that future is staring us in the face every day, usually asking us for money, but none the less… Our children are the physical embodiment of what the next generation will be, and if we want them to live in a world of support, love, and equality, we have to help them get there.

While hate and intolerance is clearly a learned behavior, what is not learned is the tendency for children to compartmentalize their world. Naturally observant, children see differences in people, and as they are bombarded by what is new and different on a daily basis, they attempt to put what they see and experience in boxes, to organize the information. The black box. The brown box. The boy box. The girl box, and so on. No child is born with disdain or malice for any one of these boxes, but this tendency lays the foundation for generalizations, stereotypes, and assumptions that aren’t always healthy, and that’s where you come in. 

The way your child sees the world and its people is through your filter first. Your blinders become their blindspots, and your interests their areas of study. With that in mind, what are some ways to invoke the journey to being and staying woke? Experts say the first and most important thing you can do is actually pretty easy. Just be open to having the conversation. Kids are curious. Not only do they notice differences, they usually have lots and lots of questions about the differences they see. It is important to allow and encourage these types of questions in order to create a dialogue. We all get busy, preoccupied, and sometimes even embarrassed, but hushing a child, or cutting them off should they have a question in public about someone’s race, gender, identity, or disability, can be stunting and unhealthy.

Instead, take advantage of these potentially awkward moments. This is your opportunity to create a narrative of equality, compassion and support for one another. Be honest, speak from your experience, and if there’s something you don’t know, like the true meaning of non-binary, asexual, what it’s like to be black, brown, or Asian in America, be honest about that too. Take stock of what questions come up, go home and do some research together as a family. In this way, not only are you teaching love and acceptance, you’re taking the opportunity to learn and grow right along with your child. 

In addition, there are so many options all around you to create moments of learning and inclusion. Choose to put your family in culturally heterogeneous environments. Go try that new Ethiopian, Indian or Middle Eastern restaurant. Send your child to daycares or schools that value and promote diversity. Check community calendars for cultural events, like Dia de los Muertos, Chinese New Year celebrations, world music or African Heritage festivals, and take your kids. These types of events, whether you’re part of the ethnic group or not, are fantastic opportunities for learning, growth, and fun as a family. And let’s not forget movies and television shows. Between Netflix, Hulu, Disney and Disney plus, Amazon video and more, diverse media is only a click away, as are documentaries about queer and trans youth.

And lastly, a simple, effective area where you can promote diversity in the home is in the toys you choose to purchase. It’s not hard these days to find dolls of color. Disney princesses span the racial spectrum, as do American Girl dolls, and come with fantastic, culturally relevant, historical stories. And for boys, check out Black Panther, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, or Lucha Libre toys, just to name a few. But keep in mind, celebrating differences in race doesn’t have to be literal. Buying a purple giraffe or a red elephant can create just as many teachable moments for you and your little one.

We know that conversations about race, gender, and equality aren’t always the easiest to have, but the more willing we are to confront and combat awkwardness and the status quo, the better off our children, our community, and our world will be. We can no longer pretend to live in a color blind society. So, take the lead and create the meaningful dialogue we so desperately need to create a world of diversity and acceptance we can all be proud of.